Long way 'round
by tfn-fanficfan
Summary: Beca deals with the loss of someone she thought would always be there for her. Inspired by the Bellas singing When I'm gone around the campfire in PP2. Established Jeca, Becloe friendship. Bring tissues. Originally a one-shot that mutated moments after being posted. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Before we get started, I should probably mention that I don't own Pitch Perfect, Pitch Perfect 2 or any associated characters.

 **Long way 'round  
** **Chapter 1**

"And now I'd like to invite Jesse's fiancée, Beca, to say a few words."

Those were the first words I'd heard all day. _Jesse's Fiancée._ The first bit of the outside world that made it through my walls and I'm not quite sure how but I find myself moving across to the podium.  
I don't stop in the centre of the room like I'm sure people expect me to. I don't lay a hand on the coffin and cry like a little girl like I want to. I can't even look at the photo of Jesse.  
Because I know if I do I won't make it at all. I have to be strong, just for a little longer.  
I promised.  
So I keep my head up and my eyes forward and when I get there I force a shaky breath into my lungs.

"I spent so many years pushing away everyone who tried to care about me. I was convinced that I didn't need or want anybody else in my life.  
Then this annoying, sappy nerd comes along with his juice pouches and decides I need a moviecation. And right from the beginning he was sweet and caring and absolutely infuriating. I would want nothing more than to be angry and miserable but he would do something to make me laugh, just because he liked seeing me smile.  
He made me feel happy, he made me feel safe. He found a way through every wall I had and he made me _feel_ when I just wanted to shut everything away and… and I…"

I stop speaking. I can't think, can't breathe. Tears long held back finally break through and the only thing keeping me upright is my death-grip on the podium.

"I'm sorry," I manage between sobs. "I just… I can't…"

Suddenly there are arms supporting me. I catch a blurry glimpse of red through my tears that could only be Chloe's hair before she pulls me into her embrace and lets me hide my tears in her shoulder.

"I can't do this, Chloe. What am I supposed to do without him?"

I don't how long she holds me like that for, gently rocking me back and forth. I know everyone there is waiting but how can I bring myself to care when he's gone?

 _"I got my ticket for the long way round."_

I swear my heart stops as Chloe's voice, watery and emotion filled but still crystal clear, carries through the hall.

 _"Two bottle o' whiskey for the way."_

I quickly swipe away the tears as Aubrey and Emily stand to add their voices.

 _"And I sure would like some sweet company."_

Cynthia Rose and Fat Amy join in and I can actually hear Lilly's soft soprano flitting across the harmony.

 _"And I'm leavin' tomorrow, what d'you say?"_

All the Bellas, scattered through the hall, are standing now.

 _"When I'm gone._

 _When I'm gone._

 _When I'm gone."_

Benji and Donald are the first of the Trebles to their feet.

 _"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."_

The rest of the guys, even Bumper, quickly weave their way into the heart-wrenching melody.

 _"You're gonna miss me by my hair."_

I don't even try to stop the fresh tears from rolling down my cheeks.

 _"You're gonna miss me everywhere."_

There's not a single person in the hall who isn't crying as the Bellas and Trebles fall silent, waiting for me to finish. It feels like the hardest thing I've ever done but I finally look over at the picture of Jesse. And it's not just Jesse smiling out from the frame. It's a photo of us, taken just after our first ICCA, just after our first kiss. And our smiles are so big you'd swear our heads are about to split in half.

 _"Oh I know I'm gonna miss you now you're gone."_

"I love you, nerd."

* * *

The rest of the service passes in a blur of kind words and condolences. I don't even remember how we got to the cemetery but Chloe is still beside me, practically holding me up as the coffin is lowered into the ground.

His family lead the way for people to throw flowers into the grave and Chloe guides me over to the platter of petals. For the first time in what must be hours I step out of the redheads comforting embrace and up to the edge of the grave. The mahogany coffin is adorned with a beautiful, ornate wreath and the photo from the ceremony resting just below it.

"Hi Jesse," I whisper. "I know I'm supposed to leave flowers but…" I reach in to my bag and pull out a DVD, a juice pouch and a small bag of popcorn. "I thought you'd rather have a movie to watch. Don't want you getting bored before I get to wherever you are." I let the juice pouch and popcorn drop down first but I hesitate over the DVD. "Just… please just promise you won't pump your fist every time you watch it ok?"

I hear a quiet chuckle and turn to see Jesse's mum standing behind me, a watery smile across her face. "You don't actually think he'd ever be able to that do you Beca?"

I try to return the smile but I'm pretty sure it just comes out a grimace, "no, not really. But I like to think that if I had asked then he would have tried."

"Yeah he would have. Just to see you scowl at him when he can't hold it in."

I hear her voice hitch and I know she wants to break down even worse than I do. I can't begin to imagine how much she must _hurt_. I've loved Jesse for seven years but she's loved him for his whole life.

I stumble the couple of steps between us and we sink into a desperate embrace. And as the tears start to fall again I can't honestly say who needs this more.

"I'm so sorry Missus S."

She pulls back and wipes the most recent tears from my eyes.

"Don't you think it's about time you started calling me Anna?"

I don't know why but that makes me choke up even more. I manage to nod my agreement and she guides me back over to the graveside.

"Missus S?... Anna, how are we supposed to go on without him?"

She nudges my hand and I look down at Jesse's much-loved copy of The Breakfast Club. She gently takes it from my fingers and lets it fall into the grave.

"We take the long way 'round."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Disclaimer: Still don't own Pitch Perfect... etc etc, blah blah blah.

 **Long way 'round  
** **Chapter 2**

 ** _Beep!_** _Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Jesse Swanson. I'd apologise for not answering the phone but I'm probably with my amazing fiancée, so I'm not really sorry. I'm sure you understand. Leave a message. **Beep!**_

"Hi Jesse," I manage with a sniffle. Silence stretching out as I wait for a reply that will never come. I know it's pathetic but I just want to hear his voice. Hear him speak to me.

"It's been three days since…" the words get stuck in my throat but I take a deep breath and force myself to continue, "since your funeral." Another deep breath helps me choke down the sobs that threaten to overwhelm me. "I hate this Jesse. It feels like every tragic cliché from your stupid movies has been rolled into one and dropped into my heart."

"It's so hard Jesse," I whimper. "I made you a promise and I am trying so hard for you but it all hurts so much. And I would happily give up everything for just one more chance to say I lo ** _BEEP!_** "

There's no stopping the tears that form as I slump down onto one of the kitchen stools. I just let my body fold over, my forehead coming to rest on the cold, unyielding marble benchtop. Maybe, if I stay here long enough, the cold will seep into my body and make me numb. Maybe if I weep enough the tears will wash the emotions out of me and I won't have to feel anymore.

* * *

I'm not sure exactly how long I've lain here for. Long enough for my body heat to warm the marble beneath my head. Long enough to realise that, unless I apply a lot of force, the kitchen bench can't numb my pain. Long enough to know that the puddle of tears on my benchtop could be an ocean and it still would never be enough.

My eyes are burning and a dull ache throbs through my body as I slowly force myself upright. The room around me is growing dark as the last vestiges of daylight are swallowed by the black of night and I honestly can't decide if it's worth the effort of turning the lights on or not.

The last dregs of sunset have vanished before I am shaken from my indecision by a gentle knock on the front door and I can only hope that if I ignore whoever it is they will go away.

The gentle knock repeats itself, "Beca? Are you in there?"

A sigh escapes my lips, of course it's Chloe. I know that she won't just let me sit in the dark so I pick up my phone, fingers jabbing at the overly bright screen. _Kitchen. Door's open._ The words swoosh away and, moments later, Chloe's cheerful message tone interrupts a third, more aggressive, knocking upon my door.

She opens the door quietly enough that I can't hear, but the solid _click_ as it swings shut drifts up the hall. Soft footsteps and the occasional indistinct curse as she stumbles in the dark precede Chloe into the kitchen.

"Beca?" She calls as her hand fumbles for the light switch, and I turn to face the doorway just as the lights blaze to life. There's a sharp intake of breath from the redhead and it takes my tired brain a moment to connect that with how I must look. I haven't seen a mirror in days but it doesn't take a genius to guess that my eyes are blood-shot and puffy from crying, and the only reason I don't have streaks of mascara running down my face is that I haven't cared enough to apply makeup since the funeral.

"Hi Chloe," I offer with a tired sigh. I try to smile because I know I should be happy to see my best friend, but the best I can manage is tiny twitch of my lips that quickly settles back into the doleful expression that's been etched onto my face.

"You know what's funny?" I ask as Chloe sinks onto the stool beside me and takes my hands in hers. "Before he died Jesse had me make a promise to him. And stupid, naïve little me agreed. I swore on my love for him because I actually thought I'd be able to do what he's asked."

"What did you promise him, Beca?" She asks, giving my hands a quick, encouraging squeeze.

"It's not important," I say, brushing off her question. "Not anymore anyway."

"Beca, It's obviously important…"

"No!" I yank my hands back as I cut her off. I try to ignore the hurt in her eyes as I wrap my arms around myself. "It's not important, Chloe. Because he made me a promise too." I look down to avoid Chloe's gaze. I know that if I see her eyes then the sympathy there will undo me and I'll become a blubbering wreck again. I don't want her to comfort me right now; I want to be angry at Jesse for leaving me.

"When Jesse proposed, when I said yes, he promised that he would love me always. That he would be by my side for all time. Why should I keep my promise to him, when he hasn't kept his promise to me?"

"Beca?" I feel Chloe's hands on my shoulders but I keep my eyes firmly locked onto my knees. "Beca, please look at me." When I don't move she places a hand beneath my chin and gently forces my head up. I try to resist but, although Chloe is gentle, she is also implacable. I give in with a choked sob and can already feel the anger ebbing. I close my eyes for a moment before finally meeting her gaze and what I see there surprises me. There's the sympathy and compassion that I expected, but there is also a hardness in those bright blue eyes that I have rarely encountered in the perpetually-cheerful redhead.

"I understand that you're hurting, Beca. That you're sad and angry because he's gone." The hardness in her eyes has spread to Chloe's voice. Gone is the lyrical cadence of her words, instead every syllable is clipped and precise. Chloe has never spoken to me like this, I don't think she's ever spoken to anyone like this. And I realise that for someone as carefree and happy as Chloe, being so tightly controlled must be comparable to outright fury on anyone else.

Somehow, this is far worse.

"And that's okay, you're allowed to be sad. You are allowed to feel angry. But you will never again so much as imply that Jesse would ever stop loving you. Not for any reason."

The worst part is that she isn't making a threat. There is no "or else" in her voice, there's just a cold statement of fact. And of course she's right. I want to apologise to her, to Jesse, because I know this already but my throat is closed off and I can feel fresh tears burning behind my eyes. I manage to nod my head and she seems to understand because her hard gaze softens as she pulls me into her arms so I can cry on her shoulder.

"Everything Jesse is, everything he was and everything he could ever have been was all devoted to you," she says, the warmth is back in her voice like the last sixty seconds never even happened. "There is nothing that could make him break his word to you, Beca. And just because you can't see him doesn't mean he isn't right beside you, just like he promised."

I don't know how I can possibly still cry, surely I've cried enough tears today to drain all the water from body. But somehow they continue to pour out. And I can feel Chloe's tears falling through my hair even as she holds me and whispers nonsense comfort words.

And as we cry ourselves out, again in my case, I realise that this doesn't really fix anything. It hasn't made everything okay, or done anything to fill the gaping hole in my heart. I still feel like I'll never truly be happy again. But knowing that someone else mourns him too, that I'm not the only person who will miss Jesse, makes me realise that at least I can share the pain. It doesn't lessen it at all, but somehow it seems just a little easier to bear.

A little bit easier to face the long way 'round.

* * *

 **A/N2:** Thanks for sticking around forchapter 2 of Long way 'round. Just one more chapter to go (which is almost finished) and a very short epilogue planned.  
I want to say a big thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 1 (even the anon reviewer who had nothing positive or constructive to say).Oh and there have been a few edits to Chapter 1


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Disclaimer: Still don't own Pitch Perfect... etc etc, blah blah blah.

 **Long way 'round  
** **Chapter 3  
**

I heard a car door slam followed a moment later by a heavy banging on the door, "BECA!" Another series of rapid thumps, "BECA! You better be in there or so help me I'll…" Chloe trails off as I open the door, her fist raised to hammer my door again.

"Do you wanna come in?" I ask with a smirk. "Or would like to abuse my poor, innocent door for a bit longer?"

"When were you planning on tell me about this Beca?" She asks as she waves her hand around the lounge room, furniture in place but empty of all the photographs, knick-knacks and personal touches that make a house into a home.

I make a show of checking my watch before I reply, "in about an hour, when we sat down for lunch. So who ratted me out?"

"What makes you think anybody ratted you out? Maybe I just wanted to come over…"

"Seriously? I'm supposed to pick you up for lunch in forty-five minutes but you're trying to break my door down and threatening me with I don't know what if I'm not here. So spill…"

"Emily," She says, and I can hear the hurt in her voice. "She told me you had everything packed up and ready to leave like I should already know about it. When did you tell her Beca?"

"Last week. I had to get her used to working with Theo instead of me at the studio."

"Why is she working with Theo? Isn't he the guy you hired to help you do all the paperwork for _Just Blurry_?"

"Well yeah. He actually enjoys doing all the day-to-day management that I'm kinda terrible at. But he has got a great ear for music and he's been begging me for a chance to work on Emily's stuff for months."

Chloe fails to hide her laugh with a cough, my "management skills" are a bit of a running joke among the Bellas. There's a very good reason that Chloe and I were co-captains.

"Yeah laugh it up Red," I mutter with a half-hearted glare. "Anyway, I've got Theo handling the paperwork and producing for Emily, and I've got a bunch of people almost as talented as me working with my other artists, but I still need someone that I know I can count on to really run everything while I'm away. Keep the label on track and maybe find some new talent to keep things fresh. Basically to be my proxy, and since Aubrey tells me that you've been looking for a new job I thought you might be interested."

Chloe's just standing there now with her mouth hanging open.

"I'll admit the pay is not amazing compared to what some of the other labels out there offer, but it does come with a fully furnished house."

More silence. I think I've actually managed to shock Chloe speechless.

"Chloe? Chloe? Are you still with me here?"

I can see tears pooling in her eyes but she blinks them away and croaks out, "why?"

"Because that apartment you and 'Bree are sharing is barely big enough for one person," I begin but she cuts me off with an angry swipe of her hand.

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it! Why are you leaving Beca?"

I can see that I'm hurting her. She's trying to keep it locked down and not get hysterical but I can see it bubbling just below the surface, so I take her hands and lead her over to the lounge. She gets the hint and settles into the comfy black leather while I perch on the coffee table in front of her.

"I haven't slept in this house since that first week after the funeral." She stares at me in shock but I keep going before she can say anything. I need to get this out. I need her to understand.

"I keep trying, every week or two I come back here after work. I make dinner but can't eat it. I try to play with whatever project I'm working on but everything sounds wrong. Chloe, I haven't even been in the bedroom since before Jesse died. I just end up curled up here on the couch, sobbing, with The Breakfast Club on repeat until three in the morning.  
So I spend my weekends with you and Bree, I get a few nights a month staying with Emily and Benji, then I stay the rest of the time at this little motel near the studio.  
That's not living Chloe, it's barely even existing."

She pulls me onto the lounge beside her and wraps me in a hug, "I'm so sorry Beca, I didn't realise."

"This whole city is filled with memories for me, Chloe. And they're mostly good memories. But everywhere I go, everything I do, reminds me of Jesse. And that just hurts too much right now. It makes me want to shut down again, to push everyone away and stop feeling. And I can't do that. Do you remember I told you that Jesse had me make him a promise?" I wait until I feel her nod against my shoulder before continuing.

"That's what it was. I had to promise that I wouldn't lock my feelings away, that I wouldn't just hide behind my walls again. Jesse said that if I don't let myself feel sad then I won't be able to feel happy either."

For a few moments the only sound is Chloe sniffling quietly. But then I feel the tiniest of nods, "OK, so where are you off to? How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. I promised Anna I'd go and spend a few days with them before I go. I haven't actually planned anything after that."

She redoubles her efforts to hug the life out of me and all I can do is squeeze back just as hard.

"It sounds like you're not planning to come back."

I pull back from the hug so I can see into her eyes and they are quickly filling with tears.

"You know, aside from the stuff I'm taking with me, there's only two things I haven't packed into storage."

She seems a bit confused by my tangent but she lets me pull her up off the couch and follows me into the kitchen. The bench tops are completely empty save for a hard drive and a brightly coloured gift box. I pick up the hard drive first and hold it up, "this is for you." I grab her hand and hold it palm up so I can press the shiny black case into her grasp.

"What's on it?" she asks, a bemused furrow on her brow as I close her fingers around the drive.

"Everything," I say as I let go. "Every mash-up, every ICCA arrangement, every work in progress. Every song I've written that I've never told anyone about. Every song or album or photograph or whatever that has ever inspired anything I have ever done. In a word; Me."

It feels like forever before I get any kind of reaction from Chloe. Then the tears overflow her eyes and she wraps me in a desperate, crushing hug.

"You can't do that to me, Beca," she sobs into my shoulder. "You can't just hand me a hard drive filled with music and say 'this is me' like it'll make up for never seeing you again."

"What? Wait... Chloe, hold up." I cut her off before she gets too hysterical. "It's not like I'm gonna vanish into thin air."

Her death grip of a hug doesn't loosen but the sobs trail off into hiccups, "you're not?"

"Have you heard of telephones? Text messaging? Skype?" I ask with a wry grin. I carefully peal her arms off me and point her towards the gift box, "maybe you should open that now."

Very slowly, as if she's afraid it'll explode, she unties the ribbon before carefully easing the lid to one side.  
When she sees what's inside the box she drops the lid and screams. I'm pretty certain her doctors told her that her voice would never go that high again.

"Beca, these are…"

"Yep."

"And they're from…"

"Yep."

"I don't understand Beca."

I reach into the box and reverently lift my headphones out. My eyes lingering on the black casings and my fingers tracing the gold inlay inscriptions there.  
 _Beca_ over the left ear and _Wierdo_ over the right.

"Jesse gave me these just after he proposed," I say as I slip the headphones over Chloe's head and settle them around her neck. "He said the original plan was to hold them ransom in case I said no."

"Like that would've happened," Chloe says with a small grin. "I was there Beca, and I think he was more excited to give you these than he was to give you the ring. But why are you giving them to me?"

"Because these headphones are the most important thing in my world. Not the most important person, but they're the most important _thing_. I want you to look after them for me, because you understand exactly how much these headphones mean to me. And you know that I could never give them up."

"Beca…"

"Chloe," I reach up a hand to trail over the shiny black plastic, "these are my promise to you that I am coming back."

I'm pretty sure it's happy tears I can see swimming in her eyes this time. Chloe's signature megawatt smile is back in place and she pulls me into her embrace once more.

"You're the best friend I've ever had Chloe. You and the Bellas mean everything to me and I could never, ever abandon you guys."

"And you promise to stay in touch?" she asks with an uncertain smile.

"Yeah," I smile back and hold up three fingers. "Girl Scouts honour."

"Like you were ever a Girl Scout," Chloe says with a mock glare.

"Hey! Of course I was… For all of two weeks. Seriously though, I promise prompt replies to all text messages and voicemails, and I guarantee at least one skype call every week."

She holds out her right hand with the pinkie extended and neither of us can hold back a laugh as we make a "pinkie promise".

"So," she says as she wipes the last of the tears from her eyes. "What now?"

"Lunch now," I grab her hand and start dragging her up the hall. "There's a fantastic burger bar near _Just Blurry_ and I want to see your face when you take that first bite."

"And then you'll go from there?"

"Well, I may have promised Theo that we'd come by and actually do the paperwork involved with putting you in charge. But after that, yeah."

She pulls me up short, "Wait, you were serious about that?"

I have to bite down on my instinctive smart-arse reply. Instead I take a deep breath and grab her other hand, "When I started _Just Blurry_ I had my laptop and I had Emily. In the last four years it's become the fastest growing, and one of the most highly sought-after, independent music labels in the country. And there are precisely two people I would trust enough to look after it for me.

"One of them is you," I say and give her hands a quick squeeze."

I'm rewarded with a small but genuine smile, "and who's the other?"

"Well, let's just say he's… he's coming with me on the long way 'round."

* * *

 **A/N2:** This is the final full chapter of Long way 'round so big thanks to those who have stuck it out and especially those who have reviewed (and/or will review this chapter). I do still have a short epilogue which is mostly finished and should be up some time over the weekend unless I go a little crazy and start expanding on it...  
If you guys and gals enjoyed Long way 'round, please review and let me know what I did right. If you didn't enjoy it, please review and let me know what I did wrong. Feedback helps me improve.  
Till next time...

 **A/N3:** p.s. there are a few minor edits to chapters 1 and 2. Nothing that really affects the story, just me being nitpicky.


	4. Epilogue

**A/N:** I was gonna make you all wait for this but it fell out of my head, ran down my hands into my computer and demanded to be shared. Despite that exciting occurrence, I still don't own Pitch Perfect yadda yadda so on and so forth...

 **Long way 'round  
** **Epilogue  
**

 _ **Boom!**_

A loud roll of thunder cuts through my sleep like a knife. I roll off the lounge with a yelp and hit the floor with a rather solid thump.

"Oowwwww… That's gonna bruise," I groan to myself as I roll over and shield my eyes from the sun streaming through the window.

It's at about the same time I realise that storms and sunshine don't really go together that the "thunder" repeats itself.

 _Tap Tap Tap Tap_

"Seriously?" I mutter with a tired glare at the clock. It's not even seven in the morning yet. On a Saturday…

"Go away!" I yell as I climb back into my warm, comfy nest on the couch. "It's too early!"

I don't have to be cheerful until I've had my coffee, this Ginger needs her caffeine, so whoever it is can go away and come back later. Much, much later. Hopefully afternoon. Of course, that idea doesn't last long. And this time they get creative.

 _Thump Thump tap-tap-tap Thump tink tap Thump_

"ALRIGHT!" I kick my blanket away with a viciousness that it certainly doesn't deserve. "I am coming to open the door!" my body, especially my head, protests as I force myself into a seated position. "And if this isn't of dire importance you will not like the consequences!" There are a few moments of silence as I slowly get to my feet. I swear if they knock again before I open the door then I'm gonna set Lilly on them.

" _I took my time and went the long way 'round."_

Everything seems to freeze. My hangover vanishes, the still blossoming aches from hitting the floor are forgotten. Nothing exists right now except that voice.

" _And I saw the prettiest of views."_

OH. MY. GOD! I turn and leap clear over the lounge, stumbling slightly on landing before skidding out into the hallway, sock clad feet scrambling for purchase on the smooth floor.

" _It had mountains, it had rivers."_

My fingers are already reaching to unlock the latch as I slide into the door with a soft whomp.

" _All these sights that gave me shivers."_

I throw the door open only to be blinded by the sunlight assaulting my eyes. But my ears still hear just perfectly and I can feel a huge grin stretching across my face.

" _But it's time for me to come back home to you."_

* * *

 **A/N2:** If it isn't obvious whose PoV this is please let me know so I can make a few changes.  
 **UPDATE:** 29/07/2015 - So I've had a few messages and reviews of confusion, I've made a little edit just to make it plainer who this is. Also, although the exact timeline isn't terribly important, I picture this as being about a year after chapter 3.

 **A/N3:** And that brings this story to a close. I still have a ton of ideas that I just couldn't fit into this fic without dragging it out so you might see some deleted scenes, extra scenes, alternative endings and what-not if I get around to polishing them up enough to share.


End file.
